25 Signs She’s a Narcissist Who Secretly Holds Animosity Towards You (And How to Spot It)

Ever feel like you’re walking around with a narcissist who’s pretending to be your friend, but secretly plotting your downfall? You’re not imagining it. Sometimes, narcissistic women can be masters of pretending everything’s fine while harboring silent resentment. But don’t worry—I’ve got your back. Here are 25 signs that she’s a narcissist holding animosity, and you need to be aware.

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1. Her Compliments Are Laced with Insults

She’ll give you a “compliment” that sounds nice—until you realize it’s a backhanded jab. “Wow, you look great for someone who usually looks like a mess.”

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2. She’s Always “Too Busy” for You

But when it’s time for her to talk about herself, she’s never too busy. Oh, you need something? Sorry, too busy to care, apparently.

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3. She’s the Master of the Silent Treatment

If she’s upset, you’ll never know why. She just pulls away, gives you the cold shoulder, and then asks, “What’s wrong?” with that sweet smile, knowing damn well it’s her issue, not yours.

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4. She Plays the “Victim” at Every Opportunity

Even when she’s the one in the wrong, she somehow spins it to make you the villain. It’s her world, and you’re just living in it—while she plays the perpetual martyr.

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5. Her “Helpful” Advice Is Actually Judgment

“Oh, you should try to be more confident—maybe that’ll help you in life.” Translation: “You’re not good enough, and I’m doing you a favor by pointing it out.”

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6. She Steals Your Ideas and Claims Them as Her Own

Got a brilliant idea at work? Don’t be shocked when she “suggests” it later as her own. Her version is always better. It’s her world, you’re just in it.

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7. She Always Makes Everything About Her

Anytime you talk about your life, she immediately turns it into something that revolves around her. “That’s cute, but let me tell you what happened to me.”

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8. She Uses “I’m Not Like Other Girls” to Manipulate You

She tells you how much better she is than all the other women. “I’m nothing like those girls.” Sure, honey, whatever makes you feel special—until she starts pulling the same tricks.

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9. She Constantly Competes with You

Got a new job or an achievement? She’s got to have a better one to show off. She doesn’t like being second in anything—even if it’s something small.

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10. She’s Always “Too Perfect” for You

No matter what you do, she’ll find a way to make you feel like you’re not good enough. “Why can’t you be more like Steve? He’s really got his life together.” Steve’s probably a robot with no flaws, huh?

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11. She Loves Being the Center of Attention

If you get a little praise, she’s right there, subtly reminding everyone that she’s been the “real” star of the show the entire time.

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12. She Sabotages Your Success

Instead of celebrating your wins, she finds ways to undermine them. “Oh, you got promoted? That’s great… but don’t you think you could’ve done better?”

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13. She Pretends to Be “Too Strong” for Anything

Every time you open up, she swoops in with, “I don’t need anyone to save me.” It’s like she’s trying to prove that being vulnerable is weak, but somehow, she’s just too strong for all that.

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14. She Makes Everything a Power Struggle

Whether it’s a small opinion or a major decision, she’s always trying to show who’s in charge. Hint: it’s her, and if you don’t see that, you’re living in her narcissistic reality.

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15. She Hides Her True Feelings Behind “I’m Fine”

She might say she’s fine while giving you the death stare. No, she’s not fine. She’s just trying to keep up the facade while quietly harboring hatred.

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16. She Never Apologizes

If she ever makes a mistake, good luck getting an apology. Her ego is too inflated for that. If anything, she’ll make it seem like you’re the one in the wrong for even expecting one.

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17. She Acts Like You Owe Her Everything

The moment she does something “nice” for you, expect her to hold it over your head. “Remember when I did that for you?” Yeah, it was a gift, but apparently, it comes with lifelong repayment.

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18. She Keeps You on Your Toes

You never know what mood she’s in, and that unpredictability is her weapon. One moment she’s sweet, the next she’s cold. Get ready for a constant emotional rollercoaster.

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19. She Makes Your Problems All About Her

When you talk about something personal or difficult, she turns it into a reflection of her own life. “Oh, you’re feeling down? Let me tell you about the time I felt that way—only mine was way worse.”

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20. She Competes with Your Friends

She’ll try to convince you that your friends are a threat to your relationship. “Why do you always hang out with them?” Oh, I don’t know, maybe because they don’t emotionally manipulate me?

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21. She Needs to Win Every Argument

Even when she’s wrong, she’ll fight tooth and nail to make sure she comes out on top. Being right is more important to her than maintaining peace.

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22. She Manipulates Your Vulnerability

Anything you share with her is potential ammunition for later. You open up, and next thing you know, she’s throwing it in your face during an argument.

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23. She Uses the “Poor Me” Card

Whenever something goes wrong, she’ll make sure to remind you how hard life is for her. “It’s just always one thing after another for me. Can’t catch a break!” Meanwhile, she’s the one causing the drama.

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24. She Keeps You Guessing

One minute she’s all over you, the next minute, she’s distant and cold. She loves keeping you in the dark about where you stand.

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25. She Thinks She’s Too Good for You

You’ll always feel like she’s looking down on you. Even in your moments of triumph, she’ll remind you that she’s “on another level.” Just be prepared to feel inferior if you’re with her.

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If you’re seeing these signs, it’s time to reevaluate your relationship with her. Narcissistic behavior can make you question your worth, manipulate your emotions, and leave you in a constant state of self-doubt. Don’t let her create a reality where you’re always in the wrong or constantly under her control. Be strong enough to walk away before you get too caught in her web. You deserve better than a narcissist’s toxic, manipulative love.